


a step away from you

by Kaleid369



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Ficlet, Gen, Happy Birthday Keith (Voltron), Hurt No Comfort, I have a lot of feelings, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, No Romance, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Season/Series 04, okay?, still not over it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2021-01-02 00:42:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21152753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaleid369/pseuds/Kaleid369
Summary: It is strange entering his room again. It feels like he’s intruding, like he’s walking into the room of a stranger, someone who has a place here.That person used to be him.Keith leaves Voltron, no matter how much he wants to stay.





	a step away from you

**Author's Note:**

> hmmm originally posted this on tumblr one year ago for our boy's birthday but didn't post it on ao3. so...here. happy birthday, keith.

* * *

**a step away from you**

* * *

Keith already knows what he will see when he enters the room. He knows he’ll see the disappointment and irritation on the paladins’ faces and angry glares pointed at him; after training with the Blade and missing the coalition plans, going on missions instead of helping the rescued aliens settle on Olkarion, and everything else he’s missed, he is probably more familiar with these instances than the back of his hand. The paladins—_the_ paladins, not _his teammate_s or _his friends_, and isn’t _that _funny?—are more than likely waiting for him on the other side of that door, probably ready to give him a piece of their minds.

He braces himself for it, all the venom and accusations that will be thrown in his face, and steps through the doors.

Keith expects it—the angry glares, the disappointment and irritation—and he’s familiarized himself with it, and yet that does nothing to loosen the anxious coil in his chest and the shame he feels when all eyes land on him.

He lets them yell. It hurts, but he’s done this to himself, knew this would happen the moment he pulled away from them all. He stays rooted to the spot, eyes downcast, quiet.

And when they’re done, he speaks, voice low and steady, the barest of tremors in his words.

“I’m not meant to pilot the Black Lion,” he says, means, _I’m not meant to be a paladin._

“It could take weeks, maybe months…” he tells them, and _I am leaving you._

“I need to be on that mission,” he says, and doesn’t say, _You don’t need me here._

They let him go without protest, cry and hug him once, and release him, and Keith musters up a smile for them before he turns to leave. It drops as he walks out, eyes downcast, his footsteps strangely loud in the empty castle halls.

_They don’t need you anymore._ The thought taunts him and laughs achingly in his mind. _They never have._

And Keith knows this, he _knows _this, has been telling himself that he is replaceable, unnecessary, for so long.

_“I’ve been doing some math. With Shiro back, that makes six paladins,” _Lance had said,_ “but there are only five lions, and if I’m right, that’s one too many.”_

Lance had been right, and Keith _knew _this, knew that something had to give, and that something was Keith.

Of course they don’t need him. Not anymore, at least.

It is strange entering his room again. It feels like he’s intruding, like he’s walking into the room of a stranger, someone who has a place here.

That person used to be him.

Keith never had many belongings. In the castle, his room was kept mostly empty except for some clothes; the walls were bare and there were no important mementos brought from Earth. He had found no need to hang things up or display pictures, never felt the need to personalize his room, not when a part of him—his younger self—had learned to never get attached—not when his mom abandoned him, not when his dad died, and certainly not when he had to jump from foster home to foster home. He never had a mom, he’d lost his dad and his home, and everyone seemed to _give up on him_, and right when he’d allowed himself to get attached again, to Shiro, he lost him. He lost Shiro, his brother, the one who had always vouched for him, who’d given him a little hope, who had _never given up on him_. He lost him _twice_.

Shiro, who barely even spares him a glance anymore, like he isn’t worth his time.

And Keith had made the same mistake, again. He made the same mistake with the paladins and had gotten _too attached_, with Red, who _rejected _him for someone else, and now they are all too far for him to reach out and grasp.

They let go of him so easily, and it aches like an open wound.

Maybe, he’s the only one holding on.

When Keith steps out of the room, he leaves with a heavy heart.

He doesn’t let himself look back. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> i'm still hung up on a lot of voltron things, okay? this is just one of them
> 
> let me know if i need to add any tags. o7


End file.
